Robin Hobb, You Raggedy Bitch
***At the top, light general spoilers for The Farseer Trilogy and The Liveship Traders, no specific plot points mentioned. Further down, heavy spoilers for Liveship Traders through chapter 11 of Ship of Destiny, marked beforehand***
Greetings and hello! This post is me yelling into the lack, uncaring of who, if anyone, this ever reaches. I am in the sixth book of my Realm of the Elderlings journey, and I simply cannot continue without an outlet for my thoughts, reactions, and traumas from this series.
Are you wondering what has driven me to this point, gentle reader? Well, I have just experienced the most chilling thing one can experience in a Robin Hobb book. A character just verbally expressed to themselves: “I am happy.”
Nothing makes me more frightened than something seeming to go well for a character in this world.
So, with no one in the real world to turn to, here I am.
Let me back up a bit to catch you up on how I got here. I recently began my descent into madness journey through The Realm of the Elderlings completing The Farseer Trilogy, as one does.
My journey was only slightly less traumatic than that of my dearest Fitz. Me the entire trilogy:
I learned a lot along the way:
- Nothing good is ever going to happen to anyone.
- If you think something good might happen, you are wrong.
- Everyone wants to fuck Fitz.
With that knowledge gained and my heart fully broken, I forged bravely ahead into Phase 2 of promised presumed emotional destruction: The Liveship Traders. Which brings me to present day. I am currently in the third book, Ship of Destiny, having the time of my life.
***Spoilers for The Liveship Traders, through Chapter 11 of Ship of Destiny past this point***
So, here we are, back to where I started with this post. Captain Motherfucking Kennit, flying a little too close to the sun with his dragon ship, proclaiming, “I am happy.” FUUUCKKKK.
Sir, I have already survived the whole, “he took a breath and didn’t take another” phase of your journey (a chapter end you can only get to late at night, right before attempting to sleep).
Things have been going well for Kennit lately, which is disturbing enough, But to hear him say out loud to himself, “I am happy,” is the stuff of nightmares. As the youths may say: fam, we cooked. I cannot begin to imagine the horrors Robin has in store for el capitán. Suffice it to say, I am deeply concerned.
This disturbing utterance comes on the heels of a classic Lucy-football-snatching moment as I eagerly anticipated Malta’s dashing rescue by Reyn. My feeble brain couldn’t conceive another outcome- surely he would swoop in and they’d have a joyous reunion. This, friends, did not transpire. Honestly, I can’t even speak to her “rescue” boat situation at the moment. I’m too angry. You know shit is fucked when your best ally is Kekki. Oof.
This also is a good moment to contemplate the witchcraft Ms. Hobb has surely employed in turning Malta into a character I am now strongly rooting for. Never have I been so certain of a someone’s irredeemability, only to wind up with pie on my face. In this house, we stan Malta Vestrit/Haven (can’t wait to see how this ages).
As this post was whipped up on a whim (/inability to sit with my thoughts alone), here are some quick-hit thoughts on where I currently reside in the story:
Serilla: Move over, Malta, there’s a new Bingtown’s Next Top Delulu. I know we are getting seeds of redemption and I suppose she is well-intentioned, but it’s a rough ride at the moment.
Ronica/Rache: Wishing you well. Unfortunately, your chapters stand between me and the fates of characters I care much more about.
Reyn: Protect Reyn at all costs (will I never learn?).
Kyle Haven: It has been A DAY since we’ve had a Kyle Haven check-in. Mefears he’s going through it in his dungeon-hole. Now, if Robin were to redeem Kyle, I would know magical forces were at work. I am not losing sleep at his misfortune, but I fear what we will find when we next visit him. Yikes.
Althea/Brashen/Paragon/etc.: Incredibly rude to reduce Amber to an “etc.,” but alas. I’m not sure what this crew thinks they are going to accomplish with their crackpot boat and ragtag crew. Kennit and Bolt (I didn’t think a name could get worse than Kyle; hoping it grows on me) are going to wipe them off the map. If I know my naval battle tactics (and I think my expertise in this area is evident), then Paragon & co. better hope they don’t happen upon the Bolt Brigade. With that said, addressing Althea/Brashen: KISS!!!!!!!
Wintrow: You could tell me literally anything about Wintrow’s future and I would believe you.
Shreever and the tangle: See Ronica/Rache- emotionally, I support you; narratively, let’s keep things moving.
Looking ahead: All I want is good things for my faves:
- Kennit and Bolt (still feels wrong): taking over the Pirate Isles
- Althea and Brashen: co-captains in love 4eva
- Reyn and Malta: trader society wedding of the century
Apologies to these characters. I fear my desires have doomed you (and me along with you) to ultimate misery and misfortune. Good luck to us. We’re gonna need it.
I’m ready, Robin. I’m ready.
Author’s note: I acknowledge I am setting foot on this blogging journey at a truly random spot. I may go back and share some general thoughts on the journey so far (Farseer and Liveship), or just do a re-read and react after completing my current quest. I also may publish this post into the lack and never write another word about RotE. Who can know? Perhaps exactly zero people will ever encounter this, or the Hobb Heads* will use the Skill to seek out my words, and I will turn out to be as gifted a blogger as Fitz with an axe in a battle.
*Is this a thing? I won’t engage with the broader Robin Hobb fan community until I finish my read-through for fear of spoilers, so you are going to have to suffer through my made-up terminology. Can’t do worse than Kyle.
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