Hurt So Good
***Spoilers for The Tawny Man Trilogy through chapter 6 of Golden Fool. References to the events of The Farseer Trilogy and The Liveship Traders. Also, warning: this post contains adult content.***
Ahoy Hobb Heads! I’m home. My time away to heal from the pain of Fool’s Errand and stretch my baby blogger wings was fun, but sinking back into the comfort of Golden Fool feels so right. And by “so right,” I of course mean Robin immediately rips open my barely-healed heart and plunges me straight back into despair and suffering. Oh, you thought we were going to leave the pain of losing Nighteyes back in Fool’s Errand? Think again.
When I started the Tawny Man Trilogy after our Robin Hobb-imposed sojourn to the Cursed Shores, I remarked that in picking Fitz’s storyline back up, we get the full Fitz experience. Likewise, in returning from my brief, self-imposed exile in Caten, here at the start of Golden Fool we surely get Fitz at his Fitziest. Which also happens to be what I love the most in the world.
He’s pouting, being the saddest of bois, getting used and abused by his loved ones, finding himself outnumbered in precarious situations, absolutely bumbling his way through romantic interactions, and – perhaps my favorite of all – leaving cryptic passive-aggressive notes in the dust on tables. Seriously, “I was here; you were not,” belongs in the Petulance Hall of Fame. I will love Fitz until the day I die. All we need is for Dutiful to leave Fitz a post-it reply:
Men stay the same, no matter the realm.
I’m not the only one loving Fitz as we kick off Golden Fool. It’s well established that Fitz struggles to accept love 😭, but it’s not for lack of others trying to give it to him.
Let’s begin with Kettricken. (Yes, it is taking all of my restraint to not jump right into Fitz heading to pound town. I will get there and give it its due.) We finally get the beautiful and heart-wrenching reunion scene between the Queen and Fitz that we were denied in Fool’s Errand. (Understandably, as a missing son/prince tends to take focus.) But here we finally get some emotional release for their shared past, including their bond with Nighteyes.
This scene made it clear that Fitz – and I – were just going through the motions. To have someone finally acknowledge the tremendous loss of Nighteyes (IT’S NOT OK!), sharing even a fraction of understanding, and prompting the emotional release Fitz so desperately needed was cathartic. Fitz sobbing undid me. But – again – I have to acknowledge the mastery of Hobb in this whole process. The room she gives Fitz’s grief to breathe allows us to feel the impact and lends emotional realism so perfectly pitched in her writing. We will, of course, have to move on, but to do so hastily would have felt disingenuous. Instead, we sit with Fitz’s acute pain simmering just under the surface, occasionally breaking through- someone mentioning Nighteyes to Fitz, or moments when his presence, physically and through Fitz’s senses, is so noticeably absent. By allowing Fitz’s grief to fester and then culminate in this moment of uninhibited release, we are given a dose of emotional closure.
Aside from the critical sharing of grief, Kettricken also gives Fitz a much-needed familial claiming, declaring him like a brother to her and gifting him her pin. She wishes to improve his station, but we all know Fitz can’t have nice things, so he declines, citing what’s best for everyone (else, as always). Their connection rekindled was lovely. Their mutual love and respect feels genuine, and Fitz is so deserving of receiving that from her.
(I don’t want to taint their beautiful platonic love by making it something more, but I have to acknowledge that there’s a spark there. I am perfectly happy for it to stay just that- a spark never destined to become a flame. But Robin did have Molly and Burrich end up together, so nothing is really off the table. Just saying…)
I want to briefly touch on the Fool/Lord Golden’s* love for Fitz before we get to the main event. After Fitz’s release with Kettricken, the Fool can sense the unburdening that’s occurred. He deduces that Kettricken is the source of the shift and admits to Fitz, “I envy her, that she could comfort you.” I’m as confused as Fitz is about the Fool’s affections.
*What are we doing with the names here? I don’t know if I should still be referring to him as the Fool when he is clearly no longer a fool. But “Lord Golden” isn’t really jiving for me either. And I have made my stance on Tom Badgerlock quite clear.
Alright, friends. Enough preamble- it is time.
In my The Will of the Many side quest, I likened myself to a truffle pig for romance. Even when I am not reading the most romance-forward series, I will sniff out any little crumbs to be found. I would like to think of my brand here at wizardwordship as “apologetically horny, striving for unapologetically?” Or maybe it’s “unnecessarily horny?” What about: “lady in the books, but a freak in the blogs?” (Ok, so I may need to workshop this, but whatever it is, you can count on me to go there.)
So far in RotE, Farseer was relatively chaste (as it should be!). Liveship Traders turned up the heat a bit. I specifically recall explicitly stated nipple play between Althea and Brashen, and the term “slick hardness” getting tossed around. (In an earlier post I couldn’t remember Lady Patience’s name, but I have a Rain Man-esque ability to recall the minute details of anything even remotely romantic. It’s basically a sixth sense.) And here at the start of Golden Fool, Fitz is all grown up and we get our spiciest scene to date!
Jinna has endured months of Mr. Never-Make-A-Move, but her patience and persistence pay off, because they finally get down to business. Where do I even start. If we can trust in anything, it’s that Robin Hobb is going to keep it real. It’s kind of her superpower. So we are not given a perfect, romance novel “Fitz-is-a-sex-god” version of sex scene. Instead, it has its fair share of awkwardness, but not without redemption. And it is certainly the most intimate we’ve gotten with Fitz getting intimate.
Fitz goes into things waging his usual internal battle between “this isn’t a good idea” and “sex would be nice,” while Jinna – modern hedge witch that she is – is all, “relax, it’s just sex.” Lust wins out, but out of the gate, Fitz goes a bit too hard, too fast, leaving Jinna unsatisfied. (“Well. You’re a hasty man, Tom Badgerlock.” Jinna, STOP! This man has been through a lot!) But then he stops fucking like someone named Tom Badgerlock, remembers that he’s Rizzlord FitzChivalry Farseer, and that he knows a thing or two about pleasing a woman, and makes up for it over the course of several subsequent bouts of passion. It is quite the afternoon!
After a more successful second round, Jinna notes this must be what it’s like to be a she-wolf. Only Fitz could hear that and take it as an insult. She has to clarify:
“That isn’t what I was going to say, Tom. You shouldn’t take insults to yourself where a compliment is intended. Untamed, was what I was going to say. Natural, as an animal is natural, with no thought of what any other may think of his ways.”
meoowwwww
But god forbid we allow Fitz to get laid and just enjoy himself. After the third or so round (I started to lose track!), the sex blinders start to come off and Fitz, emo as ever, reflects:
“Yet if our first coupling had left her unsatisfied, the later ones left me feeling incomplete in a deeper way.”
And then:
“This morning, Kettricken had touched me as a friend, and that had held more meaning and even more true passion than this had.”
Good lord! This is the worst-reviewed animalistic 3+ rounds of spontaneous afternoon sex in history.
I am not done with this yet (insert multiple rounds joke here), but let’s get into the rest of my musings:
New character alert! We are introduced to Thick at the beginning of Golden Fool, Chade’s half-wit servant whom Fitz discovers is especially strong – if untrained – in the Skill. I’m not anticipating the Six Duchies Disability Act to be passed anytime soon, but I found Fitz’s assessment of Thick to be particularly tenderhearted. He says to Chade:
“‘You don’t need to talk to him like that. He isn’t stupid. He’s… ‘ I groped for a word to express what I was suddenly certain of. Thick’s intelligence might be limited in some ways, but it was there. ‘Different,’ I ended lamely. Different, I reflected, as a horse was different from a cat and they both were different from a man. But not lesser.”
Sweet man.
Speaking of Fitz’s tender heart: in his post-coital clarity, as he’s realizing it’s just not there with Jinna, Fitz drops:
“At the heart of my discontent, I wanted to be in love with someone the way I had been that first time. I wanted someone I could touch and be held by, someone who made everything else in the world more significant simply by her existence. “
There’s a bit of an enduring mystery as to the identity of Chade’s new apprentice. At first I thought this person didn’t exist- a bit of a “my new girlfriend goes to a different school” situation. But I’m now leaning toward it being a real person. I had a moment of panic where I thought it may be Hap. Did Chade intercept him when tasked with helping to arrange his apprenticeship with the carpenter? We know Hap has been pulling some late nights. But at this moment, I don’t think our interactions with Hap align with him being mystery apprentice. Also, if Chade is using one of Fitz’s children in the same way he used Fitz behind his back, I will call for the immediate reopening of Regal’s fighting pits. Sorry, not sorry.
Most surprising use of language: As Jinna is leading Fitz into her bedchamber, we get this description:
“plunging us into near darkness save for the bits of light that fingered their way in through the shakes of the roof.”
Only Robin can use the word “fingered” in a completely non-sexual way in the middle of a full-on sex scene. Bravo.
I think I’ve sufficiently covered the Fitz-Jinna coupling, but that wasn’t the only horny moment we were blessed with in this section of chapters:
#1
This may shock you, but one of my favorite scenes was Fitz in the steam room. He’s fully naked when a young guard picks a fight with him. I could have used A LOT more description in this scene. Paint the picture, Robin! (I can only be me.)
#2
When Fitz puts on his outfit to attend the betrothal ceremony, he asks the Fool, “Does anything show?” in reference to his concealed weapons. We then get:
“He surveyed me with a smile and then assured me salaciously, ‘Everything shows. But nothing you’re worried about showing.'”
Me and the Fool:
#3
At the betrothal ceremony, we’ve got a random lord making a pass at Fitz. He makes contact a few times before Fitz finally takes note as:
“Lord Lalwick contrived to jostle his buttocks against my hip a final time.”
Fitz Appeal knows no bounds.
If you ever need to describe wizardwordship to someone, you can just explain that I will lead off with 1000 words about a random hookup, and leave the crucial plot developments for the 6th bullet in my footnotes.
With that said, no time like the present to mention our two mysterious external forces thus far in the story: the Piebalds and the Outislanders.
- The Piebalds are on the Chade level of stay pissing me off. A group ambushes my sweet baby alone at night just to toy with him. I swear to god I am about two ambushes away from hopping on YouTube and sobbing “leave Fitz alone!” into the camera.
- The Outislanders are a fun bunch of weirdos! There’s a lot going on here and surely much more to be revealed about their motivations and dynamics, but unfortunately I used all of my stamina breaking down Fitz’s stamina. So I’ll just say: Narcheska Elliania’s dad, Arkon Bloodblade (now that’s a name!), is a real wild card! He makes a frankly inappropriate, scene-stealing entrance to the betrothal ceremony and is openly into Kettricken. But he seems to be the side-show to true power player, Uncle Peottre. No one has ever had more “Uncle Peottre energy” than Uncle Peottre.
My favorite subplot is Fitz having to deal with a bunch of teenagers. So let’s check in on the kiddos:
- Prince Dutiful proves poutiness is an inheritable trait. But seriously, his longing for a relationship with Fitz is so sweet. Every time their conversation touches on Verity and Fitz’s past, I cannot contain my desire for Fitz to be exposed. We get some slight movement in this direction with Kettricken expressing that Dutiful ought to know the truth (or at least as much as she knows), and that she will tell him when the time is right. Ready whenever you are, Kettricken!
- Hap’s a hot mess.
- Nettle nears.
Bonus kid-related note: When Fitz and Jinna are wrapping up their tryst, Jinna makes an interesting observation that Fitz is unsatisfied with meaningless sex because his true desire is to have children. I found this heartbreaking in both the juxtaposition of Fitz’s numerous pseudo-children and also that – of course – given Fitz’s upbringing, he would desire a family more than anything else.
We leave off with Fitz making his way back to the cottage that was his home for most of his 15 years away from Buckkeep. He destroys the remnants of that life and any evidence that someone could find and use against him or the Farseers.
It was sad to witness him have to symbolically destroy that part of his life. He seemed to have achieved a certain degree of peace in that time (not surprising we weren’t there to witness it!).
But it does feel like a turning point. He may keep the name around as a front, but there is no going back to the Tom Badgerlock life.
Going to take a cold shower and try to return as a more normal person with my next post.
wizardwordship 